Yeah, you are right! I have been ‘jolted up’ from silence.
What the governing class could not do, two beautiful ladies on Facebook have been able to do.
Yes. I started writing about the report on the helicopter crash that killed 8 breadwinners and stopped. I thought of writing about the Office of the Special Prosecutor’s (OSP) handling of the extradition of Ken Ofori-Atta to Ghana and abandoned it.
When the avoidable death of six aspiring soldiers occurred at El-Wak Stadium, I was so saddened. Then President Mahama wrote, publicly, to Mahama Ayariga and Rockson-Nelson Dafeamekpor to request the withdrawal of their bill to repeal the OSP Act. I opened a word document and closed it. What’s the point in pouring water in a basket, I figured. But ‘never say never’, the saying goes…
But the urge to write, this time around, is strong. That’s because it concerns one of my favourite highlife musicians- Daddy Lumba or DL for short.
I am not Akan, but I love Lumba’s music. Even if I don’t understand most of the lyrics. So when I read the articles written against him by the women aforementioned, I could not resist the urge to hit my laptop.
These are the articles from Maame Adjoa Nyankopa Williams and Rosemary Aboagye Ntim (Nee Dankyi) that made me found time to write this piece.
Maame Adjoa Nyankopa Williams writes… with a photo of Akosua Serwah (Otherwise called Frah Fosuh by Papa Shee) as the accompanying image.
Please read on…
“My MVP. 🫶🏽🥰✊🏾🫡❤️
You have earned my greatest respect and admiration.
Your patience for the number of years you had to be with your husband upon all the trials you had to endure is worth commending but unfortunately, not emulating.
You’re a woman of peace who has been pushed to the wall and called names because now you decided to fight back. To raise children who have no bitterness towards their father shows who you are and what you’re made of.
To raise children who in all circumstances haven’t meddled in your legal and traditional battles, but stayed clear is a testament of your nobility. You have sacrificed yourself for us women to learn valuable lessons in life and in this institution called marriage.
Now we know that we need not protect our husbands and their shenanigans with other women but expose them as soon as practicable and fight for our place or leave.
People asked why you didn’t leave but stayed all these years forgetting that you love your husband. If only the heart and brain can agree, I am sure you would have left long time.
Women who fight over their husbands are called fools and uncultured. Women who stay mute like you did always end up with the same name calling and bashing. Hmmmmmmmmm!
A man leaves his matrimonial home to live with another woman and the wife is blamed for not chasing the man around. 🤦🏾♀️ I still don’t understand this. They would have been the same people to call you out for disgracing your husband and not enduring.
You loved a man who used you for his selfish gains.
You loved a man who loved no one but himself.
You loved a man who took your love for granted.
You loved a man who was for community services and use.
In his song “sɛ adɛ an’kye mea” he said,
“Which woman will tolerate, that her husband will be owned by all en (sic) sundry. That the man will be roaming all around the world, in the cold, lying on different beds…awww SERWAA, I’ve missed you.”
This song shows that he knew exactly what he was taking you through and didn’t care. It’s sad that you wasted your youthful years loving such a person.
Why haven’t your critics asked; Who took care of you and the children all these years?
Who satisfied your sexual needs all these years?
Who comforted you all these years?
They behave as if in marriage, it’s only the man who needs care and attention. Such hypocrisy. 😒
You have shown us that we must never invest in a struggling man but look for one who will rather invest in us because men they say, cherish the women they spend on.
By your sacrifice, we have learned that society is SICK and will defend anything so far as possible. You have taught us to always look out for ourselves and our interests first in marriage because men will always look out for themselves and their interest.
You have taught us that there’s no need and reward for helping a man build a future because feelings change and one day, that same man will leave us hanging.
I wish you don’t pursue the case in court again. I wish you don’t get involved in the distribution of his wealth and don’t take any. I rather wish you write a book or a movie. You’re an industrious woman and you can turn this pain into purpose.
I am so sorry for all that you’ve had to endure.
I pray Jehovah comforts and grants you peace.
I pray you forgive yourself and your husband.
I pray you forgive the society that failed you.
I pray you FIND PEACE.
I love you Ma. ❤️❤️❤️
I love you so much and I’ll always remember you when I pray. 🤲🏾
You’ve not lost at all. You rather sacrificed for us to learn. Thank you 😊”
Now to Rosemary…
“Let me pop out and say this – I respect Daddy Lumba as a musician, the ingenuity of his music will live on!
But I state this categorically, the man he was, married life, family life, the issues surrounding him whilst he was alive and after death is UGLY!!!! And no one made it ugly, he made himself ugly all by himself. I’m not being judgmental, so don’t come here with that overused, jaded and washed- out line. I’m doing an expressive analysis of everything that emerged out of the life he lived.
That he said he respects women in his music was a big sham! He only sang it, he never meant it nor lived it. In my opinion, he just used women! From Theresa abebrese, through Akosua Serwaa to Odo Broni! He used all of them!
He comes across as selfish, a narcissist, a cheat, a betrayer, and an emotional, mental and physically abusive person (if everything we’ve heard and read is true) Look, if I decide to break this paragraph down, I’ll end up writing a book so I’ll leave it here for another day.
Listen, the life we live today, whether you live it openly or behind a closed curtain, it’ll all show up and show out one day when we depart from this earth.
Your family can try hard to perfume and decorate your biography all they want, trust me the truth about who you really were, will show out someway….somehow, after your death!
People are saying, this shouldn’t have been how a legend like him’s funeral should have been, maybe they’re right; but really?? What were you all expecting after everything else that has happened these past few months?? #smh
The choice is all ours, to either try and live well or otherwise. May the good Lord help us all!
PS: Yeah, I know hard talk is difficult to take, and a lot of people don’t like saying it ” as it is”, but I’ve said what I said anyway!”
It’s now my turn
After reading the above, clearly emotionally charged pieces, I heaved- Hmmmmmmmmmmm. Followed by questions.
- What are these two beautiful women talking about?
- Certainly, dead men don’t talk so who will speak for Daddy Lumba?
- That Daddy Lumba slept with more than three women while alive and had children with two of them?
- That Daddy Lumba was helped by Theresa Abebrese, Akosua Serwah and Odo Broni and he made a fool out of them?
- Why are they not mentioning the fact that Akosua Serwah supposedly returned traditional drinks presented by Daddy Lumba’s family to hers?
- What did Daddy Lumba do, that was so despicable, as to warrant a return of dowry drinks? A terminal step, by all standards, as far as Ghanaian tradition is concerned. Promiscuity?
- If it was about promiscuity, what about the rich and some poor men in Ghana who marry three or more wives? And live with them harmoniously?
- Who will let us know why Daddy Lumba left Akosua Serwah in Germany and came to domicile in Ghana?
- During the 15 or so years that Lumba was recuperating from spine surgery, what role did Akosua Serwah play?
- Was Akosua Serwah so vindictive as to have abandoned Lumba to his fate because he cheated on her?
- What happened to forgiveness?
- Why didn’t Akosua Serwah attend the funeral after all that she did to secure the sole right to perform the widowhood rites?
- Why would Akosua Serwah’s children attend the funeral when she did not? Was it in spite of her objection or she blessed it?
- Why would Akosua Serwah’s children go to the extent of taking pictures with Odo Broni and her children at the funeral?
- Does this picture say anything about Akosua Serwah?
It’s time to go
How I wish I would receive answers to these questions, Especially, the one on who will speak for Daddy Lumba?
It cannot be the Lawyers. That’s because usually their posturing stokes fire more than quenches it. What will be good is a Public Relations specialist who will lay all the issues bare, devoid of emotions.
Otherwise, the kind of narrative that is ensuing about Lumba, mostly from women, is tarnishing is image- too much.
Lumba is gone, but if no one speaks for him, the mud that these women-observers are throwing at his ghost, will stick so hard that his children may spend the rest of their lives cleaning it.
I am not polygamous and I won’t recommend it to even my enemy. What for? Same pleasure from the same biological orifice in a different human being with all the complications- Financial, emotional, energy sapping and stress?
That is what Lumba has been through even in death. But the venom being poured on Lumba, especially by third parties, makes me wonder if this is all about his supposed promiscuous nature.
According to Rosemary, “if everything we’ve heard and read is true”. Unfortunately, she did not give any clue as to what she read and heard.
And what does Maame Adjoa mean when she wrote “You have sacrificed yourself for us women to learn valuable lessons in life and in this institution called marriage… You loved a man who used you for his selfish gains?”
What do these women know that some of us don’t? This is a man who missed no opportunity to tout how helpful Akosua Serwah was to him personally as well as his career. He has virtually immortalized Akosua’s name by the number of times he mentioned it in many of his songs. What else? “)nfa nu enhyɛ nɛkyi anaa? (Should he have carried her on his back wherever he went?)
Look, marriage is such a beautiful thing. I have enjoyed it for the past 26 years and counting. It has not been without issues. But we resolve them and move on. Nonetheless, there is something called incompatibility. If that becomes a couple’s predicament, no matter who has helped who, the best way forward is to part ways- divorce.
So, I repeat, why did Akosua Serwah cause her dowry drinks to be returned? Why did Lumba leave Akosua Serwah in Germany?
Without sounding judgmental (Apologies to Rosemary), I believe that by this singular action of returning her dowry drinks, Akosua gave an inkling into what might have sent Lumba packing.
Again, why would you fight to be the sole widow of a ‘promiscuous’ man who you traditionally divorced, but stay away from his funeral because you were denied that opportunity? Who does that? I don’t get it.
So, Lumba’s side of the story must be told. If for nothing at all, it will save his ghost of the image being created that he was such a bad man.
Until then, ‘Yentia obiaa’!!!
Makramu– That’s another way of saying goodbye in Twi.
Let God lead. Follow Him directly, not through any human.
The writer is the Ghana Journalists Association (GJA) Columnist of the Year- 2022. He is the author of two books whose contents share knowledge on how anyone desirous of writing like him can do so. Eric can be reached via email [email protected]
