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Smart women do relationships differently.
A common misconception is that they’re more guarded or that they love less, but that’s not what’s going on.
They DO love with all their heart. It’s just that they know their worth and know better than to debase themselves for the sake of a relationship.
If you want to be a little smarter when it comes to love, try to follow their footsteps.
Here are 10 things smart women never do in relationships
1) They never make the relationship their primary source of happiness
It’s easy enough for single women to say that they’ll never make their future partner the center of their world—to say that they’ll just keep on being themselves whether they’re single or not.
But this certainty is often challenged once they find themselves a loving partner.
Many end up so lovestruck that they feel compelled to dedicate all their time and attention to their partner. And then they’ll neglect their own hobbies, their dreams…and even their friends.
Smart women know better than to do this, sometimes because experience has taught them that it’s simply a bad idea.
Sure, they’d get lost in the romance during the first few months, but they make sure that they go back to who they were before they met their partner.
To them, a partner is someone who walks at their side in life, and not someone who holds the reins to their life.
2) They never stop talking to other people
Smart women do not disappear simply because they got into a relationship.
They’d still show up at parties and events. And while they would happily invite their partner when it’s appropriate, they have no problems going solo.
And something that’s important to keep in mind is that they won’t stop talking to people of the opposite sex either.
Smart women choose to date smart and confident men who know better than to get jealous just because their girlfriends talk to other men.
They don’t want to end up like those couples who get stuck in toxic, codependent relationships. Those relationships are fragile and give no room for either them or their partner to grow as people.
3) They never argue over petty things
Smart women live rich and vibrant lives. And it should be no surprise then that they have a lot going on—from their hobbies to their social life, to their blossoming career.
And so when they find themselves caught in petty arguments with their partner—an inevitability in even the healthiest relationships—they simply don’t make a big deal out of it.
They will instead try to calm things down and then try to discuss it as calmly as possible. They know that conflicts, while inevitable, are also a massive waste of time and energy.
The secret to long-lived relationships is actually being able to handle conflicts well.
And it is for this reason that smart women tend to have healthy relationships and even maintain healthy friendships with their exes.
4) They never make big investments unless they’re married
Or, to be more precise, they won’t make big and potentially risky investments until they know that they can handle it and the chance of their investments falling through.
They might be deeply in love with their partner of 10 years, for example, but they won’t exactly pour money into buying their future house together until they are actually married.
They know that relationships could end and when that happens, they don’t want to be caught in the legal mess that will follow.
Love is love, but legal matters are difficult to settle and it’s definitely unwise to invest in something together when you’re still not legally binded.
5) They never wear rose-colored glasses
Smart women know that when one sees the world through rose-colored glasses, red flags will simply look like flags.
People think they’re jaded because of this, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, they’re hopeful and very optimistic about most things… especially love.
But what separates smart women from others is that they see things as they are. When something’s not right, they don’t pretend everything’s alright.
They won’t let their love for their partner blind them. Instead, they pay close attention to any issues they might spot and then try to discuss it with their partner.
6) They never give a lot more than they get
Loving unconditionally is noble on one hand and foolhardy on the other. That’s why unless they’ve been together for a very long time, smart women simply won’t give it their all.
This is not because they’re keeping score, it’s simply because smart women value fairness, and they hold fast to an ideal of fairness not just in love but also in life in general.
They’ll give more sometimes—especially to their parents, partners, or children— but they make sure that they aren’t being used or that they’re not enabling bad behavior.
7) They never stop growing
Smart women don’t stop growing simply because they’re already living happy and content lives.
If anything, they’d actually be inspired to learn more and become even better so that they could keep their relationship exciting and fresh.
And aside from learning, they’d also keep trying new experiences whether with their partner or alone.
If you’re a man reading this and you’re with a smart woman, it’s important to give her the freedom to grow and experience things that could enrich her life. Once you stop her from growing, she’ll start to reconsider the relationship—trust me on this.
8) They never allow any kind of abuse
Whether it’s physical or verbal abuse, whether it’s blatant or subtle, a smart woman would take any kind of abuse SERIOUSLY.
She may not have time for petty arguments but once their partner raises their hand (even without hitting her), she’d start wondering if they’re really meant to be together…even if she loves their partner with all of her heart.
At first, she’d have a serious conversation with their partner regarding the incident, and if they repeat it once or twice after their warning, she’d not hesitate to end the relationship right then and there.
A smart woman knows that she’s not put here on earth to be in an abusive relationship…or to train a partner how to become a better person. There’s 8 billion fish in the sea. She might as well let go of this one.
9) They never rush things
“Only fools rush in,” people say. And there’s some truth to that.
It’s simply foolish to rush into a relationship—or worse, marriage!—after only a few months of knowing someone.
Smart women take their time, and would happily try to know someone for a few years before committing to them.
They might rush things like kissing and protected sex, sure, but commitments such as marriage and having kids?
They will take their time and they will only commit once they’re truly ready.
10) They never do it for practical reasons
You might think that smart women use only their brains when finding a partner—that they’d marry whoever is richest or will help further their career.
But they have more respect for themselves than that.
They have the self-confidence that they can become successful on their own.
They cannot be in a relationship where there’s no love, respect, and deep connection between them and their partner.
And they’d never stay for practical reasons either.
When things come tumbling down later on—like, if their partner becomes abusive, cheats, or if they just fell out of love—they aren’t going to sit down and try fixing a lost cause.
Smart women know what real and healthy relationships look like, and so if they know that they’re clearly NOT in one, they’d move on.
People like to think of smart women as being cold or perhaps even unloving partners. But if you think about it, smart women are simply being, well… smart.
People simply expect too much out of women in relationships—they expect us to be weak, submissive, and to give up our lives simply to make our partners happy.
Smart women refuse to play along with that and keep their independence (while still being very loving). And in doing so, they build for themselves healthy and mature relationships.
Can a relationship coach help you too?
If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach.
I know this from personal experience…
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